Harry Potter's Scar

To the tune of Missy Higgins' Scar, written to say thank-you to everyone who celebrated my birthday with me.

He left his mark with a bit of soul
And my parents dead in Godric’s Hollow
The Dark Lord, grandson of Marvolo
And before I’d calmed from the green flash of light
I was dropped on the doorstep of 4 Privet Drive
Tormented by the Dursleys for 10 years

Then a giant knocked down the door
Of the hut-on-the-rock
He said I was the boy who lived

Cause aren’t I Harry Potter
And don’t I belong to a magic world
Where everyone knows my story
Before starting at Hogwarts

Where everything’s unfamiliar
And everyone’s scared of Voldemort
He killed off half the Order
But with me he didn’t get far
He just left me with this scar

On the Hogwarts train, shared a lot of sweets
With Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley
But Malfoy said, “don’t trust them, trust me.”
We put on the Sorting Hat one by one
It looked at my insides, asked if I was sure
Till at last it shouted “GRYFFINDOR!”

An owl named Hedwig and a broom called a Nimbus
Getting mail
Playing Quidditch

Cause aren’t I Harry Potter
Don’t I have to save the Philosopher’s stone?
From two-faced Professor Quirrell
Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher

And Severus Snape, that peculiar
Teacher who tried to throw us out
Despite finding the Secret Chamber
Because we crashed our flying car
And because I’ve got this scar

I realised just in time
Sirius Black was innocent and a Godfather of mine
Saved him from Dementors, for book four, but not in book fiiive

Cause Voldemort came back to life
Despite Umbridge pretending otherwise
Tell me, did you really think my CAPSLOCK!ANGST was LAME?

I realised, far too late
That the Half-Blood Prince was really Severus Snape
Who loved my mother, and turned out to be good AND brave

Now I’m over weepy Cho, it’s a pity that
Ginny’s going out with five guys
And the monster in my chest thinks the same!

A triangle and a rod and a circle
These Deathly Hallows just don’t fit. (The plot)

Cause aren’t I Harry Potter
Don’t I have to find the Horcruxes
To defeat Tom Riddle (Voldemort!)
Now Dumbledore has gone

Last book – I came back to life, yeah
Bit of luck with the Elder Wand
Got with Ginny in the Epilogue (Ron with Hermione!)
Gave our kids pretentious names
Though all is well, I’ve still got this scar!